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Self-Care Isn’t Selfish

Updated: Jan 30, 2023

I needed this reminder today, so I thought somebody else could too!

The response I usually get to this:

“I don’t have the time or energy to take care of myself after I’m done taking care of everybody or everything else.”

“I can’t take time for myself, I’m needed all the time so it would just be selfish or irresponsible.”

“I’ll take the time for myself when I’ve finished/accomplished X, until then it would be giving up or a sign of laziness.”

*Daily*, I’m hearing echoes of these from my clients (be it women, parents, students, employees, etc., living with OR without added veil of mental illness) who genuinely believe that taking care of themselves/self-care is:

A Burden on the People who Rely on Them

I see this most when working with my women, parents, caregivers, and health care professionals (especially those in the mental health field))

An Excuse to be Lazy or Procrastinate

These coming from my “type A”, perfectionistic, and rigid all-or-nothing thinkers (namely students and neurodiverse folk (holla!)), as well as my over-exercisers and employees at *any* point within the hierarchy at their workplace (including the business owners…))

A Privilege not a Right;


Something we Need to Deserve

I hear this most from my clients living with depression/anxiety/ADHD/eating disorders/body dysmorphia/low self-worth/imposter syndrome/the list goes on…, athletes and fitness enthusiasts, and fellow folk who were never taught (or lost touch with the fact) that our sense of worth and contentment comes from doing and being our authentic best, not from being the best).

We’re all thinking it, and we’re all miserable because of it! What if, instead, we recognized that by taking care of ourselves first we are better able to show up for the people we love and our life’s commitments? Therefore, we should also be supporting those around us to prioritize their self-care as well!

I also think that the façade of self-care being some long, expensive, drawn out process misrepresents the reality of our society. There are people that have to work more to get ahead, have children or other loved ones relying on them day-in/day-out, and so forth…. Which is why self-care can also be checking in with yourself when anxious, practicing self-compassion, going to bed early, journaling instead of being on social media, drinking enough water, packing or eating a lunch, having a shower no enjoying it rather than planning the day, etc…

Get my point?

So, PLEASE, take some time for you this weekend!


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