“We forgot how to know when we learned how to please” - Glennon Doyle
I talk about this concept all the time with my clients, especially the ones struggling with their body image, disordered eating and self-worth!
We live in a society that’s teaching people to conform rather than stand out or be themselves. Which makes sense, because when people do things differently it’s a threat to the norm… and think about what our current “norm” around bodies and food has become. It’s dieting, it’s comparison, it’s striving for the “thin-ideal”, it’s rewarding weight loss regardless of how it happened… and it’s now a multibillion dollar industry with a very intentional failure rate of nearly 100%.
When we fall into this cultural norm it’s not abnormal to begin relying on external validation to find our sense of worth or feelings of acceptance. But, as most people know if they’ve frequented this mindset, we’re never going to be able to grow into or own our identity, reach our potential, or find genuine contentment if others opinions of us matter more than our own opinions of us.
When we stop listening to ourselves and/or our bodies in the name of fitting in or others validation, we’re trading in our sense of self and our innate sense of “knowing” who we are and what we need. Which, in my opinion, is never going to be worth it.
So, I try to get my clients to lean into the idea of listening to our bodies and respecting the answers, versus listening to our culture and disrespecting ourselves because of it. Recovery from disordered eating or body image concerns isn’t just about changing behaviour, it’s about changing our priorities and re-learning how to listen to ourselves!
Book: Get Untamed, The Journal - based off her book/work in “Untamed” … would recommend!